Pearls of Wisdom: Great Quotes About Golf

Most golfers have a very shallow catalogue of quotes, sayings, and jokes about the game. Yes, you drive for show and putt for dough, and we've all heard the one about God and the one-iron. So, as a service to our readers, we will serve up a regular sampling of re-usable quotes, sayings and jokes so you can be the most entertaining player in your foursome. Here is our first installment. Have something you want to share? Add a comment below.

"It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling." -- Mark Twain

"I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser." -- Arnold Palmer

"If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt." -- Dean Martin

Mickey Mantle, the former New York Yankees outfielder, loved riding golf carts. "He who has the fastest golf cart never has a  bad lie."

"Lay off golf for three weeks, and then quit." -- Sam Snead, advising a pupil

"Give me golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the golf clubs and the fresh air." -- Jack Benny

"Just figure out a way to get it in the hole, no matter what it looks like." -- Lee Trevino

"Ninety percent of the putts that fall short don't go in." -- Yogi Berra

Excerpts from the book Strange Kicks & Bounces: Funny, Whimsical, Legendary & True Tales of Golf.

(AP Photo)