10 LPGA Cost Cutting Suggestions
The LPGA recently announced that it will cut back on tournaments and purses in the 2009 season. That's a good start, but here are 10 more ideas to help the LPGA navigate these rough economic times:
1) Convert all water hazards into wishing wells.
2) Cut back on expensive translators by making all players learn English. (This one can't miss).
3) To attract a fan base that's more appealing to marketers, award bonus points to players based on how many 18- to 35-year-old males follow them per round.
4) Ask for a government bailout…everyone else is.
5) Add title sponsors for all the majors, not just the Kraft Nabisco Championship. We suggest the Hormell Spam U.S. Open, Frito-Lay LPGA Championship and Walkers Snacks British Open.
6) Hypnotize Annika Sorenstam into thinking she’s 25.
7) Forget the Masters Par-3 contest. How about the Evian Masters Wet T-Shirt contest?
8) Two words: Bake Sale.
9) Sell the naming rights to the Top-25 players. Annika becomes "Ann-Ikea," Lorena is "Amtrak's Ochoa Express," and Paula becomes "Coffee-Mate non dairy Creamer."
10) Get Michelle Wie to play in more than eight tournaments.
