10 LPGA Cost Cutting Suggestions
The LPGA recently announced that it will cut back on tournaments and purses in the 2009 season. That's a good start, but here are 10 more ideas to help the LPGA navigate these rough economic times:
1) Convert all water hazards into wishing wells.
2) Cut back on expensive translators by making all players learn English. (This one can't miss).
3) To attract a fan base that's more appealing to marketers, award bonus points to players based on how many 18- to 35-year-old males follow them per round.
4) Ask for a government bailout…everyone else is.
5) Add title sponsors for all the majors, not just the Kraft Nabisco Championship. We suggest the Hormell Spam U.S. Open, Frito-Lay LPGA Championship and Walkers Snacks British Open.
6) Hypnotize Annika Sorenstam into thinking she’s 25.
7) Forget the Masters Par-3 contest. How about the Evian Masters Wet T-Shirt contest?
8) Two words: Bake Sale.
9) Sell the naming rights to the Top-25 players. Annika becomes "Ann-Ikea," Lorena is "Amtrak's Ochoa Express," and Paula becomes "Coffee-Mate non dairy Creamer."
10) Get Michelle Wie to play in more than eight tournaments.
Fire Bivens for cause; she stole her salary.
Posted by: Robert | November 23, 2008 at 03:59 PM
Love the ideas! Might need to reblog--with proper credit of course. :o) How about Katherine U-Haul, Karrie Marriam Websters Online Dictionary,or Christie Kerr's Mason Jars. The possibilities are endless.
Posted by: realwomengolf.com | November 22, 2008 at 04:54 PM
Hey, I have one: Why don't we stop spending all this money on plugging Annika's retirement? She should get out of the way so the interesting players can get the spotlight.
Posted by: Come on, already | November 21, 2008 at 06:17 PM
Time for Natalie to get back in those bikinis. ON the course, this time.
Posted by: DJ | November 21, 2008 at 02:37 PM
I wholeheartedly agree with Joe. He's had a rough year and I am here for him in our country's time of need, all the way til 2012 if he likes.
Posted by: Sara P | November 20, 2008 at 11:32 AM
Can't we just teach the Olympic volleyball babes how to golf?
Posted by: Joe Sixpack | November 20, 2008 at 11:29 AM
When you said wet t-shirt contest, I imagined ANYONE would be eligible for that, and then Laura Davies came to mind....
Posted by: You | November 20, 2008 at 09:01 AM