I have two reasons for not answering Gary Van Sickle’s call to come up with a name for the last three holes of the Stadium Course at TPC Sawgrass: 1) I hate contrived nicknames for course features. 2) I don’t need another reason.

Note that I said “contrived.” I’m fine with “Amen Corner” because that wasn’t coined by a p.r. firm. The great golf writer, Herbert Warren Wind, simply pulled it out of his Smith-Corona to describe the 11th, 12th and 13th holes at Augusta National -- no fuss, no pretense -- and people started using it.

I like “The Road Hole,” “The Churchpew Bunkers” and “The Postage Stamp” for the same reason. Those nicknames were coined by the golfers who played St. Andrews, Oakmont and Troon, and they have passed the test of time.

Compare that to “The Bear Trap,” the term used to describe the closing holes of PGA National. I was there the year they sprung the Trap on those of us covering the Senior PGA Championship. The new name came with a press kit -– “The Toughest Three-Hole Stretch on Tour” -- plus glossy photos and slides and a statistical analysis of how the holes had played in earlier tournaments.

There was even a press conference with course designer Jack Nicklaus. And just in case you missed the endless shilling for the nickname on the tournament telecasts, they installed a plaque on the 15th hole warning, “You are entering the Bear Trap!” (Did I say a three-hole stretch? Make that four!)

I expect marketing folks to create and promote their brands, but I’d like them to stop at the first tee. Otherwise, we’ll soon see “The Coca-Cola Bear Trap” or “The Burma Road, presented by Japan Airlines.”

Gary apparently feels the same way, because he spiked all the entries, including his own (“The Bermuda Triangle”) and NBC’s (“The Gantlet”).

Good call, Gary.

Getting tickets for the Masters may seem out of reach for the average person, but it’s not. You still have a chance to score practice round tickets, which are sold via lottery, if you act quickly.

As a public service, let me tell you how it works.

First, you'll need a practice round application. You can get one by getting on the practice round mailing list. Simply send your name, address, e-mail address, Social Security number and daytime telephone number to: Masters Tournament Practice Rounds, P.O. Box 2047, Augusta, GA 30903-2047.

When the application arrives, you'll need to fill it out and specify the days you want to attend. Tickets are $36 for Monday and Tuesday, and $41 for Wednesday if your application is chosen.

Here's the important part: You've got to return the completed application  by July 15. That's not much time. So if you're interested, you’d better request an application immediately.

If your application is selected in the lottery and you win the chance to buy practice round tickets, you’ll hear from the club, and then you'll be asked to provide payment. You can order up to four tickets per day. If you don’t win, you hear nothing.

As for tournament round tickets, forget it. You can't even get on the waiting list, which was closed in 1978 and reopened in 2000 only to be closed again. You’re out of luck. For more information, go to masters.org.

It should be obvious now why the last three holes at the Stadium Course at TPC Sawgrass don't have a nickname. The suggestions sent into Golf.com per my request in the past month had one thing in common -- they all pretty much stunk.

That includes my own nominees -- "the Bermuda Triangle" (it's the only significant tournament played on Bermuda grass), "Dye Hard III," and the latest idea I've been grappling with, something with the word "dozen" or "12" -- the last three holes add up to par 12. So the "Dirty Dozen," "Breaker's Dozen," "the Big Bad 12," "the Titanic 12" -- I don't know. Maybe there's something there, maybe not.

Of the other nominees, "the Crucible" didn't do it for me. I hated NBC's attempt at coining a phrase, "Run the Gantlet." There were a surprising number that were incredibly lame.

So I think we're back to square one. If we can't come up with a great, apropos nickname, let's just leave it alone. The island-green 17th hole has its own identity. It doesn't need a hokey tag, just like Babe Ruth didn't need a contrived label like Sultan of Swat. He was, and is, The Babe.

In this case, no name is a good name. If you'd like to try naming those last three holes, my advice is to keep it to yourself. But thanks for the effort.

The news this week that 11 players opted out of the Memorial struck some as a diss to the tournament's founder, Jack Nicklaus. The so-called Legend's Slam — Arnold Palmer's Bay Hill, the Byron Nelson, Ben Hogan's Colonial, and the Memorial — have long been considered four of the premier events on the PGA Tour calendar.

On a tour that has richly benefited from corporate America's investment in golf, these events were a reminder of an era when pro tournaments were mainly branded by their hosts — men who were not just golfers but entertainers and singers. You didn't go to  Palm Springs every winter simply to make a check; you went to see Bob Hope give a show. You might have hated the fuss the entertainers made at the Bing Crosby, but you wouldn't dare miss a chance to play Pebble Beach.

You showed respect for your elders, for the old-timers and their old-fashioned ways that helped build a very successful pro golf circuit that had real popular appeal. Arnold Palmer made it cool for the 1950s hipster and the war vet alike to express their manhood on the golf course. The game was fun for everybody, even the caddies. But no matter how popular it got, the old money tradition remained, and that engendered good manners.

But now the primary draw for most tournaments is big money, and the old ways are not so important to the players.

Earlier this week, Jack Nicklaus said before the start of the Memorial that in his playing days he would send a handwritten thank-you note to the sponsors after a tournament. This was his way of showing gratitude to the people who were paying the bills. The Bear learned of Tiger's decision not to play, due to his knee injury, through Tiger's agent, Mark Steinberg.

So are manners out of fashion in today's game? I'm not sure. It may just be that the majors have become so big that players will skip almost anything to prepare for them. I hope Bay Hill and the Memorial thrive long after their founders' deaths, but I doubt they will. Since Ben Hogan's death in 1997, the Colonial is seen by many as just a notch or two above the Texas Open. The Byron Nelson is played on a golf course that everybody hates, but the guys continued to come every year out of respect for the old man. Now that he is dead, the tournament is struggling to attract good fields.

Good manners should have led Steve Stricker, Ben Crane, Adam Scott and Anthony Kim, among others, to make their way to Dublin, Ohio, this week for Jack's major. They should understand that the Memorial is not about them. It's about Jack.

(Photo: Jay LaPrete/AP)

It would raise the decibel level at the Ryder Cup a couple of notches if veteran Kenny Perry continues his hot play and makes the U.S. team. That's because Perry is the pride of Franklin, Ky. -- where he owns a public golf course -- and Kentuckians love their own. His ovation on the first tee at Valhalla, in Louisville, might not be louder than what Northern Ireland's Darren Clarke got when the last Ryder Cup was played in Ireland, but it might be close.

The Ryder Cup is on his mind, and even if it wasn't, well, you could count on us media types to remind him. After Perry shot 66 Thursday morning to take the early Memorial lead, he talked about his Ryder Cup outlook. "I read the paper this morning, Paul (Azinger) says if you don't win, you're not getting on the team," Perry said. "So that kind of bummed me out a little. So that hurt me, losing that playoff in Atlanta a couple weeks ago. I've got to play consistent, keep making points, and if I don't win, figure out a way to get in the top eight so I earn my way onto the squad."

Perry on top of the leaderboard here in Dublin, Ohio, is no surprise. He won here in '91, sparked by a round of 63 that included a hole-in-one at the 16th, and won again in 2003. He's got a comfort level here that is pretty high.

He was also excited about Thursday's perfect conditions. "I said before, it's the best condition I've ever seen the golf course. Best weather I've seen here. Just the best of everything."

Don't worry, Kenny. It's the Memorial. Thundershowers are in Friday's forecast.

(Photo: Andy Lyons/Getty Images)

I checked into a nonsmoking room in an Atlanta hotel the other day, and there was a copy of Cigar Aficionado on a table, with Tiger Woods on the cover. I'm not a reader of the magazine, but I remember various cover shots, with Michael Jordan or Bill Murray, featuring, as you might expect, cigars. But other issues don't feature cigars, and this was one of them. I've never seen Tiger smoke a cigar -- have you? -- and the story had neither any quotes from Tiger nor any cigar talk. Tiger's father, Earl, was a heavy cigarette smoker who died of cancer. You could guess that he wouldn't be thrilled to be in it. The magazine for cigar buffs can of course publish whatever it likes -- it's a free country, right? -- but this cover struck me as odd.

In the same June issue, there's a story by the editor and publisher, Marvin R. Shanken, about playing in the Honda pro-am with Ernie Els. It ran with a picture featuring the Big Easy and his four Honda pro-am partners, Shanken with a cigar in hand. A note from him, and another editor, at the front of the magazine begins,  "Why Tiger? It's a good question. He's not a cigar smoker, unless chided into it by Michael Jordan on some remote corner of a very private course. But he is simply one of the greatest athletes ever to play any sport at any time in history."

Whatever. Ads for various cigar brands run before the Tiger piece, after it and within it. For Tiger, it's part of the price of being Tiger.

This won't count as incredible insight, considering that Phil Mickelson won at Colonial last week, but he may turn out to be the big story this summer instead of Tiger Woods. Sure, Woods says he's on schedule to return to play the U.S. Open, but if his knee hurt too much to play this week at Memorial, that doesn't sound like he's on schedule for the Open in two weeks while Phil will be going to San Diego with some momentum.

It's one thing for Tiger to  be physically ready to play at Torrey Pines. It's another thing to be ready for tournament competition on an Open setup, which Tiger knows full well.

Meanwhile, the spotlight falls on Phil, whose game is suddenly back in place after a cool spell with his putter. I was interested in something he said Wednesday here in the pressroom in Dublin, Ohio, at the Memorial Tournament. "I'm excited, I feel better than I've ever felt," he said. "I've had a full year with the swing changes with Butch Harmon. I expect a lot out of this summer."

That's not the kind of idle boast you get from a top player. That's the kind of thing you say when you've got it and you know you've got it. Phil was at that same point a year ago before he hurt his wrist from
over-practicing out of the hellishly deep rough at Oakmont, which ruined his summer. He said he'll be more cautious practicing those shots this time.

And, oh yeah, Torrey Pines is something of a home game for Phil. He grew up in San Diego, and lives there now, so he has played Torrey a number of times. Even though it's been redesigned, he's got a feel and a comfort factor for the place that most tour players won't have. You can be sure he'll be scoping out Torrey frequently the week before the Open, getting all the course knowledge advantage he can get.

I have to agree with Phil. It could be a big summer for him.

(Photo: Jay LaPrete/AP)

The PGA Tour has a few unofficial rules: 1.) You always return to an event you won the previous year; 2) An event with the word “Buick” in its name is likely to have Tiger Woods in the field; and 3) Big stars play tournaments hosted by other big stars.

That’s why it was so surprising to read today that four of the top 10 players in the world wouldn’t be playing this week’s Memorial Tournament, an event that should called the Jack Nicklaus Tournament since it’s played on a course he designed in his hometown of Columbus, Ohio, and benefits local charities.

Arnold Palmer’s Bay Hill Invitational in February always attracts a murderer’s row of top players and the World Top 10 likely will all pay tribute to their master at the Tiger Woods’ At&T National at Congressional in late June. The Byron Nelson Championship never had trouble nabbing big names while Lord Byron was still alive. So how could Woods, Vijay Singh, Ernie Els and Adam Scott all take a pass on the Memorial?

Woods of course has a good reason since he’s still recovering from knee surgery. He even held off withdrawing from the tournament until last week (likely out of respect for Nickalus). Vijay Singh hurt his ribs playing in the BMW Championship in England last week.

After that, the excuses get murkier. Adam Scott isn’t playing due to fatigue, according to his publicist. (Scott withdrew from the Shell Houston Open earlier this year with a throat infection.) And Els just called this weekend a “gap in his schedule,” which sounds like a Tour player euphemism for “kick back and enjoy these millions I’ve been making. Caviar, anyone?”

Someone got to Els though, because now he’s packing his bags for Columbus.

Els surprised tournament officials Monday with a posting on his Web site that he would not play again until next week in the Stanford St. Jude Classic in Memphis, Tenn.

But he changed that posting Tuesday.

"Originally, this week was going to be a gap in my schedule, but I've changed my mind and decided to play in the Memorial," Els said.

Must have been an offer he couldn’t refuse.

At the risk of becoming the official Vietnam golf correspondent for Sports Illustrated, I have to offer this nugget as a followup to a recent story I wrote about golf in the country.

I just received a press release about the Kings’ Island Golf Club in northern Vietnam, where the entire back nine on its Mountainview Course has been outfitted with lights for evening play on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays. The front nine will have lights by the end of June.

They’ll keep the lights on until 10 p.m., adding a few more hours of play to the day.

“This adds a  whole new dimension to the game in the tropics, where many golfers would just as soon wait for the sun to mellow out before teeing off,” said Joe Millar, the club’s director of golf.

Kings Island opened in 1994 in the greater Hanoi area and has two 18-hole courses. There are 15 courses operating in Vietnam and 30 more in the works.
Now that night-light golf has arrived, all we need is for mini-golf and 7-Elevens to take over the country, and America can finally claim victory.

Farrell Evans and Rick Lipsey have given you their list of the game's most underrated players. Now it's your turn. Write your own list in the space below, and tell us what you think of their choices.