SOUTHPORT, England - Reading Cameron Morfit’s lighthearted take on the weather at Royal Birkdale, I’m having one of those “déjà vu all over again” moments. Only it isn’t a brain cloud. It’s my very real memory of the conditions that prevailed here during the 1998 Open Championship, won by Mark O’Meara.

Here’s what I wrote about that week’s weather in my story for SI:

“The weather in the British Isles has been on the wet and windy side this year. England’s northwest shore is so soggy that hedgerows are spilling onto pavements and articles left outdoors turn overnight into chia pets. The days leading up to the Open Championship were notable for squally rain and winds that whistled in the flag rigs above the grandstands at Royal Birkdale. The rough was so lush that Tom Lehman lost six balls in eight holes in a Monday practice round, and so tall that you could almost hide a Texan in it -- specifically the defending champion from Dallas, Justin Leonard, who finished 17 over for the tournament.

“In normal conditions Royal Birkdale is something like the formal maze in a British garden. Its fairways are low and the wild dunes are high, giving players the sense that they are making their way through an artfully-contrived puzzle.  Which, of course, they are. But in last week’s rain and wind, the par-70 links played more like a par-77 lynx, clawing the players badly. The scores on Saturday, when the wind never dipped below 25 miles an hour, were the worst. Leonard shot a 12-over-par 82, Janzen shot 80, Phil Mickelson needed 85, and Nick Price, a stroke out of the lead after two rounds, signed for an 82 and retired to the clubhouse looking pale and worn.”

I quote these passages merely to give you an idea of what to expect from Birkdale ’08. And if you’re betting on the Open, be leery of any player wearing a cap with a brim.

(The rest of my reportage from the ’98 Open can be found in the SI Vault. For other climactically-impacted majors, see the collected writings of Herbert Warren Whatshisname.)

I have two reasons for not answering Gary Van Sickle’s call to come up with a name for the last three holes of the Stadium Course at TPC Sawgrass: 1) I hate contrived nicknames for course features. 2) I don’t need another reason.

Note that I said “contrived.” I’m fine with “Amen Corner” because that wasn’t coined by a p.r. firm. The great golf writer, Herbert Warren Wind, simply pulled it out of his Smith-Corona to describe the 11th, 12th and 13th holes at Augusta National -- no fuss, no pretense -- and people started using it.

I like “The Road Hole,” “The Churchpew Bunkers” and “The Postage Stamp” for the same reason. Those nicknames were coined by the golfers who played St. Andrews, Oakmont and Troon, and they have passed the test of time.

Compare that to “The Bear Trap,” the term used to describe the closing holes of PGA National. I was there the year they sprung the Trap on those of us covering the Senior PGA Championship. The new name came with a press kit -– “The Toughest Three-Hole Stretch on Tour” -- plus glossy photos and slides and a statistical analysis of how the holes had played in earlier tournaments.

There was even a press conference with course designer Jack Nicklaus. And just in case you missed the endless shilling for the nickname on the tournament telecasts, they installed a plaque on the 15th hole warning, “You are entering the Bear Trap!” (Did I say a three-hole stretch? Make that four!)

I expect marketing folks to create and promote their brands, but I’d like them to stop at the first tee. Otherwise, we’ll soon see “The Coca-Cola Bear Trap” or “The Burma Road, presented by Japan Airlines.”

Gary apparently feels the same way, because he spiked all the entries, including his own (“The Bermuda Triangle”) and NBC’s (“The Gantlet”).

Good call, Gary.

The news this week that 11 players opted out of the Memorial struck some as a diss to the tournament's founder, Jack Nicklaus. The so-called Legend's Slam — Arnold Palmer's Bay Hill, the Byron Nelson, Ben Hogan's Colonial, and the Memorial — have long been considered four of the premier events on the PGA Tour calendar.

On a tour that has richly benefited from corporate America's investment in golf, these events were a reminder of an era when pro tournaments were mainly branded by their hosts — men who were not just golfers but entertainers and singers. You didn't go to  Palm Springs every winter simply to make a check; you went to see Bob Hope give a show. You might have hated the fuss the entertainers made at the Bing Crosby, but you wouldn't dare miss a chance to play Pebble Beach.

You showed respect for your elders, for the old-timers and their old-fashioned ways that helped build a very successful pro golf circuit that had real popular appeal. Arnold Palmer made it cool for the 1950s hipster and the war vet alike to express their manhood on the golf course. The game was fun for everybody, even the caddies. But no matter how popular it got, the old money tradition remained, and that engendered good manners.

But now the primary draw for most tournaments is big money, and the old ways are not so important to the players.

Earlier this week, Jack Nicklaus said before the start of the Memorial that in his playing days he would send a handwritten thank-you note to the sponsors after a tournament. This was his way of showing gratitude to the people who were paying the bills. The Bear learned of Tiger's decision not to play, due to his knee injury, through Tiger's agent, Mark Steinberg.

So are manners out of fashion in today's game? I'm not sure. It may just be that the majors have become so big that players will skip almost anything to prepare for them. I hope Bay Hill and the Memorial thrive long after their founders' deaths, but I doubt they will. Since Ben Hogan's death in 1997, the Colonial is seen by many as just a notch or two above the Texas Open. The Byron Nelson is played on a golf course that everybody hates, but the guys continued to come every year out of respect for the old man. Now that he is dead, the tournament is struggling to attract good fields.

Good manners should have led Steve Stricker, Ben Crane, Adam Scott and Anthony Kim, among others, to make their way to Dublin, Ohio, this week for Jack's major. They should understand that the Memorial is not about them. It's about Jack.

(Photo: Jay LaPrete/AP)

I arrived at the Players press center early this morning because I had an appointment to flog my book on Peter Kessler’s XM Satellite Radio show, “Making the Turn.” (The book, if you haven’t been paying attention, is Tiger 2.0, a collection of my least-embarrassing golf stories from the pages of Sports Illustrated.) I carried a copy of the book into the radio booth and handed it to Peter. I then watched in amazement as he cracked it opened, riffled through a few pages, made a note or two on a piece of scrap paper, and then put it aside.

I say I was amazed because in those fifteen seconds Peter managed to absorb the contents of the book. He must have little scanners in his fingertips. Or X-ray eyes. I don’t know what his secret is, but when you sit down for an interview with Peter he invariably knows things about you that your family doesn’t know. He also has the entire history of golf stored on flash drives in his skull. He knows what club Arnie hit on the 17th hole in the final round of the ’62 U.S. Open and what kind of sandwich Jack had for lunch and how much a spike wrench cost.

Fortunately, Peter wanted to talk about the book. Had he quizzed me on golf history – or even yesterday’s action at the Players – I would have flunked. (I don’t have flash drives in my skull. I have drains.)

Anyway, the experience reminded me of how much I miss his Golf Channel interviews. Any chance that the suits in Orlando will swallow their pride and bring him back to earth?

The Masters fans were voting with their feet. The minute Trevor Immelman and Brandt Snedeker hit their tee shots on No. 10, hundreds of spectators pulled up stakes and headed for the exits. Some of them stopped to buy souvenirs on the way out, but most of them looked like they wanted to beat the traffic jam on Washington Road. They appeared to be long-time badge holders; most of them had green folding chairs slung over their shoulders.

Granted, Tiger Woods trailed Immelman by six strokes when the fans bolted. But is that the only reason people come to a major any more? To cheer for Tiger and Phil?

It reminded me of the time, some years ago, when I was following a certain Japanese touring pro in the final round of the Hawaiian Open. This fellow, who addressed his putts with the toe of his putter off the ground, missed a putt on the 17th hole that would have tied him for the lead with Jack Renner, who was signing his card in the scorer’s tent. But the 18th was a par 5, so a playoff was a real possibility – a playoff that would start on the 16th hole.

So as hundreds of us were following the final pairing to the 18th tee, two young guys with beers in their hands came walking the opposite way, against the tide. “You’re making a big mistake,” one of them yelled to a friend in the pack. “It’s all going to happen on sixteen!”

You can probably guess what came next. I was standing roughly twenty feet from Isao Aoki when he holed out his third shot for eagle to win the tournament. The two beer buddies, meanwhile, were standing under a palm tree by the sixteenth green. I’ve always wondered what they thought when they heard that incredible roar.

Of course, the dopes probably claimed later that they saw Aoki’s shot – just as those who split the Masters at five would have claimed that they had witnessed Tiger’s incredible comeback, if one had occurred.

Now if I were the Augusta National chairman, I might look at this differently. I might ask myself why badge holders are walking out before the leaders get to Amen Corner. I might question recent course changes that have turned the back nine into a joyless hike. I might remember when great players could make final-round charges with eagles and birdies – not stagger home with white-knuckle pars and bogeys. And I’d probably take steps to make certain that there’s a full house the next time history is made.

Oops, gotta go. Don’t want to miss the green jacket ceremony.

Tiger Woods’ recent six-month win streak, his revamped, almost flawless swing and his mastery of Augusta National made us fear for the nation’s bookmakers. Will storied, hard-working Americans like Toothless Louie and the Wizard of Odds be able to survive the Woods era, where betting on Tiger in a major feels like picking Superman in a battle versus the forces of evil?

Fortunately, the answer appears to be "yes." Chuck Esposito, assistant vice president of race and sports at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas, says that his sportsbook will always accept wagers on Woods. However, those winning tickets won’t pay much. Woods will be an even-money wager next week in Augusta, which means to win $1 you have to bet $1. In golf, that’s a staggering favorite — the shortest odds Esposito can remember on any golfer at a major.

“Even money in golf is just ridiculous,” Esposito said. “To give you some perspective, in tournaments that Tiger doesn’t play in, the favorite usually pays off at 8 to 1 or 10 to 1.”

Caesars’ sportsbook opened 2008 Masters betting in August 2007. Back then, you could get 9 to 5 odds on Woods, but as he won the PGA Championship and then every tournament he entered, his odds kept falling. If Woods wins at Augusta National, Esposito says a Woods wager at the U.S. Open likely would pay less than even money.

After Woods, Phil Mickelson offers the next shortest Masters odds, at 6 to 1, followed by (surprise!) K.J. Choi at 10 to 1 and the resurgent Steve Stricker at 12 to 1.

Esposito says Woods has been great for his business, which only started posting odds for every PGA Tour event about eight years ago. The total money wagered on the Masters at Caesars Palace this week will approach seven figures, Esposito said, a drop in the bucket compared to the NCAA tournament or NFL football, but a tremendous jump over golf wagering B.T., or Before Tiger.

“Tiger really transformed golf for viewers and as a betting sport,” Esposito said. “On Sunday, the Masters will be on the big screen and we’ll have a full house. The atmosphere will be tremendous in here.”

And not everyone at Caesars will be rooting for Woods. Some will take a chance on dark horses like Fred Couples (70 to 1), Luke Donald (35 to 1) and Zach Johnson (the defending champ looks like a bargain at 40 to 1). After all, a bet on Geoff Ogilvy to win at the WGC-CA Championship at Doral paid off at 35 to 1.

Looking for a way to kill some time at the office today? Check out the Society of Hickory Golfers. You'll find a collection of stop-action shots of Bobby Jones, Walter Hagen, Joyce Wethered and Francis Ouimet, among many others. Look at Ouimet swinging a brassie: he clears his hips so early it brings to mind Charlie Howell or Tiger Woods. Tremendous lag and, really, a very modern swing. I'm sure Hank Haney is working all sorts of magic with Tiger, and the swing has evolved over time, to be sure. But the swing, at its essence, is the swing. You can see for yourself.

(Photo: Ouimet swings a brassie, hickorygolf.com)