Here's a pastime that's almost as old as the game itself: taking aim at the poor soul who's picking balls off the driving range while you practice.

Most golfers are wired the same way. Even if you can't even spell d-r-a-w, you line up a four-iron in the back of your stance and attempt to rip a sweeping hook that only rises 10 yards off the ground to nail the iron-clad range-picking cart some 150 yards down the fairway.

Once you have heard the satisfying "ding" of the dimples clanging against metal, you immediately crave more. (Thank goodness for the thin mesh lining of the cart that protects the driver from the elements.) So we understand Padraig Harrington's desire to search out the range-picker in the above ad campaign "Every Shot Imaginable" for the European Tour. It's only natural.

Harrington just happens to be a lot better than us at it.

Add Padraig Harrington’s name to the lengthening list of Tour pros who oppose long putters.

But while you’re at it, also toss him in among the growing ranks of players who have turned to an anchored putting stroke in tournament play.

In a do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do moment this week at Quail Hollow Golf Club, Harrington, 41, voiced his opposition to the controversial putting method, which may be outlawed in a matter of weeks by the USGA and R&A if a proposed ban on it goes through.

Harrington said he hopes that happens.

“For the game, I definitely don’t agree with anchoring at all,” he said.

Funny thing was, he’d just wrapped up his opening round at the Wells Fargo Championship, where he used an anchored stroke for the first time in competition.

“I think it’s bad for the game of golf,” Harrington said. “[But] I’m going to use everything, if something’s going to help me for the next three and a half years, I’m going to use it.”

Harrington’s comments echoed those of Ernie Els last year after Els won the British Open with the aid of a belly putter.

“Nothing should be anchored to your body and I still believe that,” Els said. “But as long as it’s legal, I will keep cheating like the rest of them.”

Late last fall, the USGA and R&A issued a joint proposal to ban anchored strokes. The organizations are expected to come to a final decision on the matter this summer, though the ban, if approved, would not go into effect until 2016.

So whatever happens, Harrington will have plenty of time to perfect his anchored stroke and his rationalization for using it.

For now, it seems, he needs work on the former.

In Thursday’s opening round, Harrington shot 80, with 32 putts. On Friday, he shot a 75 and missed the cut.

(Photo: Nell Redmond/AP)

Good news, bad news for Padraig Harrington.

After going through four laser surgeries and more sets of eyewear than Moe Greene, the Irishman appears to have resolved his vision problems.

But now come concerns about his mental health.

Witness this alarming YouTube video of the three-time major champion wrapped in a straitjacket, ready to be whisked away by men in white.

Wait. I take that back.

On closer look, it’s a new commercial that shows Harrington stumping for something called the Golf Swing Shirt, a product that he hails as the “best swing trainer ever invented.”

A relentless tinkerer, Harrington knows what it takes to stay connected---arms and shoulders working in unison---and apparently he’s found it in this snug-fitting adornment, which looks like it was snatched from the wardrobe trailer of "One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest."

Harrington swears it works.

The Golf Swing Shirt, I mean. Not what they did to poor Randle McMurphy.

Either way, maybe the real lesson here is this: play golf long enough, and it’ll drive you crazy.

Paddy Harrington, meet paddy wagon.

From the golf course to the rubber room.

He named names!

2001 British Open champion David Duval took to Twitter on Friday after Tianling Guan was penalized one stroke for slow play during the second round of the Masters. Duval said it was unfortunate that Guan received the penalty because there are many other slow-playing professional golfers, including Tiger Woods and Jim Furyk.

Guan's penalty might have caused the 14-year-old from China to miss the cut. He shot 73 on Thursday and 75 on Friday, leaving him at 4-over for the tournament. The top 50 and all players within 10 strokes of the lead play the weekend.

The only way to deal with slow play is simple. Give the rules officials the ability to time players without warning them.

— David Duval (@david59duval) April 12, 2013

Most slow players know how to beat the system. They fall behind get timed so they speed up. Back in position and they slow back down.

— David Duval (@david59duval) April 12, 2013

We all know who they slow players are. Maybe the commentators should be calling them slow instead of deliberate.

— David Duval (@david59duval) April 12, 2013

I did during my TV work last year and I will again.

— David Duval (@david59duval) April 12, 2013

Who's the slowest? Hard to say.

— David Duval (@david59duval) April 12, 2013

Crane, Simpson, Na are pretty slow.

— David Duval (@david59duval) April 12, 2013

Tiger isn't the fastest. Nor is Furyk for the big names.

— David Duval (@david59duval) April 12, 2013

Harrington is pretty bad.

— David Duval (@david59duval) April 12, 2013

Many more than can be named. It doesn't matter though until the officials have the right power.

— David Duval (@david59duval) April 12, 2013

I'm probably middle of the road. Had my own issue with slow play when I turned pro. Took time dealing with it but worked thru it.

— David Duval (@david59duval) April 12, 2013

Joe Ogilvie is the fastest I think.

— David Duval (@david59duval) April 12, 2013

It's a shame it's coming to light again involving the kid. I do wish it had happened to one if the known slower players.

— David Duval (@david59duval) April 12, 2013

Funny that some are mad about saying the names of slow players. Everybody in golf knows who the slow players are.

— David Duval (@david59duval) April 12, 2013

Once ranked No. 1 in the world, Duval, 41, is not in the field at the Masters this week; he's missed the cut in all four of his PGA Tour starts this season.

1. "It was just so friggin' slow. We played just over three hours and nine holes, and three of them are par threes. It's like, come on, you know. I started losing my patience a little bit."

--Tiger Woods on the slow pace of play in his final round Monday at Farmer Insurance Open

2. “I ate at the golf course with my wife and my son, the guy drove us to the private airport, took off at 1:10, flew to the Phoenix airport, got in my car, drove home, unpacked kind of, like chucked my suitcases in the closet, sat down, turned the TV on and Tiger is on 17. And I was like, ‘Wow, is he pissed right now.’”

--Robert Garrigus on playing in the Farmers Insurance Open in the morning and arriving in Phoenix before it ended

3. “I’m guessing that Vijay Singh doesn’t know the product has been called out by the PGA Tour specifically.”

--Sports Illustrated’s David Epstein on the magazine’s story about how Singh had used deer-antler spray, which contains a substance banned by the PGA Tour.

4. “You have to be careful about what you take. I try not to take anything now, really, other than Corona and vodka.''

--Lee Westwood on Vijay Singh’s deer antler spray

5. “As much as we spend all our time trying to be consistent, it's the inconsistent wins that are probably the most important thing.”

--Padraig Harrington at the Phoenix Open

6. “There's a big barrier, a Berlin Wall barrier, between 59 and 60.”

--Phil Mickelson after his putt for 59 just lipped out in first round of the Phoenix Open

7. “Obviously the golf gods giveth and they taketh away, so there you have it.”

-- Jim "Bones" Mackay, Mickelson’s caddie, on the missed putt for 59

8. “Golf needs a younger and more athletic image, and Nike has always had that. I'm young enough. I'm not sure I'm athletic enough. But I'll try!"

--Rory McIlroy on his endorsement deal with Nike

9. “Unfortunately, we started making birdies and eagles, and I thought, ‘Well, what do we do now?’”

 --Sergio Garcia on making four birdies and an eagle on the front nine when he was considering withdrawing from the Omega Dubai Classic with a sore shoulder

10. "I tried to get him to play."

-- Caddie Joe LaCava on his boss Tiger Woods not playing the Northern Trust Open at Riviera this year

Besides the golf clubs, there's another benefit for Padraig Harrington being sponsored by Wilson -- free footballs. Harrington shared some pig skins with the fans at No. 16 Saturday by kicking a field goal and punting footballs into the stands. Is there still time to get him suited up for the 49ers or Ravens?

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1. “I’m going to have to stick a knife in my heart at the end of this.”

Jim Furyk, discussing his painful losses in 2012 in the February issue of Golf Magazine

2. “Tiger Woods demands $3 million just for an appearance, if he were to compete in the Commercial Bank Qatar Masters -- which is not worth paying for a tournament of $2.5 million prize money.”

Hassan al Nuaimi, president of the Qatar Golf Association

3. "That's a ten-stroke f---ing penalty, and if you ever do it again I'll do the same to you!"

Keith Richards, after shooting a golf ball that landed in his breakfast, according to a new book by Stones saxophone player Bobby Keys

4."I'll still be playing competitive golf
when I'm 70."

Padraig Harrington, at the Volvo Champions in South Africa

5. “They should put a plaque down. I was coming from a different ZIP code. And I’ve got to compete against these animals!”

Ernie Els, after playing partner Nicolas Colsaerts hit a 419-yard drive at the Volvo Champions in South Africa

6. “The guy is like a God over there
in Scotland.”

Steve Marino, on playing with Tom Watson in the 2009 Open Championship at Turnberry

7. “I will always appreciate the loyal and generous support of our faithful sponsors, volunteers, fans, media and LPGA golf professionals and I extend a special thanks to all of them.”

Actor Jamie Farr, on stepping down as host of the Jamie Farr Toledo Classic LPGA Tour event after 28 years

8. "I've never canvassed, as I didn't last time. I've not spoken to anybody about this. But I've always felt that if I was asked I would do it and that's still the case."

Colin Montgomerie, on his interest in being captain of the 2014 European Ryder Cup team

9. "He's in my ear the whole way,
telling me I suck, telling me I'm going to choke."

Keegan Bradley, on beating Michael Jordan at golf

10. “From an image standpoint, I like the way Rory handles himself off the golf course.”

PGA Tour Commissioner Tim Finchem, on Rory McIlroy’s breakout season in 2012

Hailing from Northern Ireland, Rory McIlroy has a unique choice heading into the 2016 Olympics; he can either compete under the flag of Ireland or Great Britain in Rio, a decision unfortunately fraught with controversy in a country still recovering from decades of sectarian conflict.

Irishman Padraig Harrington spoke about Rory McIlroy's Olympic dilemma during a press conference for this week's Volvo Golf Champions event.

“I have massive sympathy as an Irishman and massive sympathy more so as a sportsman,” said the three-times major winner of the situation. “No sportsman should have to make that decision. That’s it, straightforward – nobody at 23 years of age should be asked to make that decision.

After avoiding questions about who he will play for in 2016, World No. 1 McIlroy spoke out in a recent BBC documentary, stating that rather than disappoint fans from either Great Britain or Ireland, he is considering skipping the games altogether.

Harrington went on to say that McIlroy's absence from the game would be a detriment to golf's chances of becoming a permanent event, according to Martin Dempster's report for the Scotsman.

“It’s very unfortunate and I think it is unfortunate in the sense that it means a great deal for golf for him [McIlroy] to play. It’s a very big deal because golf is only on a trial period in the Olympics.

“We have two runs at it and, as golfers, we do have to perform and put our best foot forward, so it would be nice if the world number one is there and he’s supporting the event. It’s an extraordinarily difficult decision. We need our best players to play in the Olympics to show that golf is serious in the Olympics.”

It's been more than 20 years since his professional debut, but Irishman Padraig Harrington says he is just as enthusiastic about the game as ever, according to a UK Yahoo Sports report.

"I have conversations with a lot of sports people and if I talk to a soccer player and he tells me he's 32 and he's retiring I scream at him," the triple major champion said.

"Whether I scream at himself physically or I'm screaming inside my head, I'm saying 'Don't do it!'

"I'm not a guy who can just say no. You are retired for a long time and I tell you what, I'll still be playing competitive golf when I'm 70."

The three-time Major winner ended a two-year slump with a victory at the Grand Slam of Golf in October of 2012.

The 41-year-old, who will make his 2013 debut at the Volvo Golf Champions tournament in South Africa this week, has spent much of his offseason preparing for the new year.

"Over the last five weeks you'd be hard pressed to find somebody who's done more time, more practice, more anything on their game than I have," he said.

"If anything I'm still trying to keep a balance on things. I might be doing too much practice, thinking about golf too much, playing too many tournaments.

We understand why someone would want to be the European Ryder Cup Captain. Pride, honor, yeah, all that. But, honestly, the job doesn't seem all that tough: You do interviews, wait until the inevitable American supernova makes you look like a genius, and then you drink until a Molinari brother goes drag.

So, it's easy to understand why the politicking has already begun across the pond. And, according to Padraig Harrington, a front-runner is already emerging.

"I understand the inside track is that it's going to be Darren Clarke," Harrington told the Irish Independent at the Dunhill Links on Friday.

The Independent also reports that Peter Hanson has thrown his (feather)weight behind Paul McGinley. Which might mean more, if Rory McIlroy didn't already go on the record throwing his support behind Clarke, according to ESPN.co.uk.

We at Rumors are going third party. Colin Montgomerie, 2014. If Monty is captaining, then perhaps we'll get less commentary in the first person plural during the next broadcast...