There are a few things I wouldn't let John Daly do to me. A lot of things, actually. But none of them are higher on that list than letting him slash a drive teed up in my mouth.

I'm not David Feherty. The Golf Channel host let Long John do just that on the season finale of his TV show, Feherty, which aired over the weekend. Watch the clip below:

Now, as the video mentions, John is a pro. But some might say pegging a ball on a head the size of Feherty's is a high tee indeed. We think Ernie Els may have taken a little divot.

T-Minus Four Years 'til Rio
Pro golf has a pretty strong couple of weeks coming up, with a World Golf Championship event (Bridgestone Invitational) and one of the world's biggest tournaments (PGA Championship) occuring in the next fortnight. But the Sport of Kings is going to be fighting for attention with some big to-do going on in the Queen's backyard. It's tough for anyone to compete with gymnastics’ quadrennial moment in the sun.

But golf will get its due in four year's time, and golf writers are already curious about who might be playing for medals in Rio. So if you can't beat 'em, join the hype.

Ryan Ballengee gets the ball rolling, running the numbers for Golf News Net to give us a (very) early look at the possible fields for men and women.  Apparently, if the men's field were set today, it would include eight Americans and reach down to the 334th ranked player in the world to fill out the 60-man lineup.

The women's field would dig even deeper, pulling 446th ranked Paola Moreno of Colombia into the fold.

The reason, Ballengee explains, is the selection criteria. The top 15 men and women will automatically qualify; after that, 45 players are added by rank. The catch is -- after the top 15 -- no more than two representatives from any single country can play. So Moreno and Norwegian Espen Kofstad would get the call.

But before they book flights remember this -- along with really any other aspect of the golf event -- is subject to change. In the meantime, we recommend any Norwegian with Olympic dreams to hit the range. Your tee time may only be four years away.

Tweet of the Day 

Pay the man
Tiger Woods is set to defend his title at the Australian Masters, the last tournament he won before his scandal hit the public eye last year. It won't surprise you to hear that getting Tiger to the outback requires paying him an enormous appearance fee. What might surprise you is who ends up footing that bill (from Thomas Hunter at The Sydney Morning Herald).

Tiger Woods is coming back to Melbourne for this year’s Australian Masters but Victorian taxpayers, who are covering part of his appearance fee, will never know how much they’re paying for the privilege, says Victorian Tourism Minister Tim Holding. Mr Holding said revealing the figure would give interstate governments and other locations the chance to match or exceed the bid and lure the star from Victoria. "[Tiger's fee] won’t be made public," he told Radio 3AW. ‘‘We work very hard to secure these events and we don’t want to bid the price up by disclosing the exact amounts.’’ It is understood Woods commands a $3 million appearance fee. It was widely reported the Victorian government paid $1.5 million of the golfer’s fee last year, despite Mr Holding saying today the exact amount would not be made public. The tournament prize money last year was $270,000.

If this sounds like the height of absurdity, it's possible that Tiger's appearance fee is a better investment than it sounds:

He said the expense was ‘‘infinitesimal’’ compared to the economic benefit which flowed the Woods’ appearance, with audited figures showing his performance at last year’s Australian Masters earned the state $34 million, exceeding forecasts by more $15 million.

I'm no golf purist, but I find the idea of appearance fees to be about the most ridiculous premise of all time. While golf can be fun to watch, I like to think of professional golfers as athletes, not entertainers (with a few notable exceptions). I'd rather see the money that goes to appearance fees actually show up in the purse, so that it needs to be earned with a win (or at least a solid showing) rather than with a wave of the cap.

Ballot Buster
Ernie Els and Retief Goosen are the newest qualifiers on the World Golf Hall of Fame ballot, and it's no surprise that the talk around the golf writers' water cooler today is about the worthiness of the new candidates. As with any subjective vote, the biggest question is whether to focus on your gut or your stat sheet. Jim Brighters from TSN has chosen the former:

...When I look at the ballot, a name jumps at me, and that should be enough. I know enough about the careers to know basic win totals and major championships. The resume is there already, and if I'm not familiar with it, then I haven't been doing my job and am not qualified to vote.

With that being said, Els is a Hall of Famer, no doubt. He won two U.S. Opens in a relatively short period of time and fairly early in his career. Els won the third major and a different one, the 2002 British Open Championship. 

Els has been an elite golfer for the better part of 15 years. He was No. 1 in the world for a period of time, and perhaps more importantly, there was a good chunk of time where he was the clear No. 2 to Tiger Woods.

Mark my words, that will be just as important as being No. 1.

That's the difference between Els and Goosen. Truthfully, not being the second-best player isn't a benchmark as to whether you get in the Hall of Fame. Goosen was a great player for the middle part of the 2000s and that's admirable.

He doesn't have the longevity of Els. When the two were in their primes, Els was a world-class player who could be the best. Was Goosen? Hard to say he wasn't since he won two U.S. Opens, and truthfully, two of the hardest U.S. Opens any eyes have witnessed.

But Goosen never struck me as someone who should be favored in every major he teed it up in. Again, no formula for me, but my gut says no for Goosen.

I should start by saying that I agree with every point Brighters makes here about Els. He was dominant before Tiger, and he was as competitive as any human being could be after Tiger, which is about all we can ask. 

That being said, I think Brighters is far too hard on Retief Goosen. Yes, Goosen's PGA Tour win totals aren't as gaudy as some other players', but it's the World Golf Hall of Fame, not the PGA Tour Hall of Fame. Goose has won 9 times on the Sunshine Tour, 4 times on the Asian Tour and 14 times (tied for 15th all time) on the European Tour, earning the Euro Order of Merit twice. Those wins make his steady play on the PGA Tour all the more impressive, and his two U.S. Open wins are more than enough to put him over the top of HOF qualifications in my opinion. I will credit Brighters for one more thing, he's consistent: if I had to compare Goosen to another Hall of Famer, I'd probably pick 2004 inductee Tom Kite...who Brighters doesn't think belongs either.

Sweet Tweets
In what I hope will become consistent fodder for the Truth and Rumors blog, PGA Tour golfers have been seriously upping their Twitter game lately. While Stewart Cink is still my personal favorite, he actually made the most waves this week not as a Tweeter, but as a Tweetie (that's a word, right?). Zach Johnson Tweeted this now famous photo of Cink in a compromising position a couple days ago, and it's become an internet sensation. In lieu of yet another "ball" pun, I think Wilbon and Kornheiser summed up the situation perfectly on PTI last night: "The swing thought here is definitely 'thin it to win it'...you don't want to hit it fat."

In less dangerous Twitter news, Bubba Watson made sure to share his first ever hole-in-one during a US Open qualifier this week with all of his fans and followers. It's not news in and of itself, but it's pretty hilarious how excited the oft-exuberant Watson is about his ace. When you've only got 140 characters to work with and you spend 11 of them on exclamation points, you know you're pretty fired up. Who knows what might happen if he actually wins a tournament this year.

By Alan Shipnuck
SI Senior Writer

Golf writers have been on the endangered species list for a while now but 2008 was a particularly brutal year.

Longtime scribes from big-time newspapers in L.A., Chicago, Boston, Philadelphia, Oakland and elsewhere took buyouts or were otherwise downsized, casualties of a dying industry and cratering economy.

The Mercedes was when all of this hit home for me. I’ve been coming to the tournament since the mid-90’s, and it was always a fun chance to catch up with colleagues in an intimate setting after the long off-season.

This year there might as well be tumbleweed blowing through the press room. Excepting the Hawaii contingent, the New York Times is the American newspaper that has sent a writer here. The AP is on the scene, and Art Spander, an ink-stained wretch for half a century until he, too, got a pink slip last year, is on hand but is writing for a Web site and a few outlets in Great Britain, where newspapers still matter, a little.

Making all this more jarring is that the Mercedes has always taken care of its sportswriters like no other tournament, whether it’s setting up sweet accommodations at low prices or hosting various evening functions where the alcohol and conversation both flow freely.

When I checked in yesterday I was loaded down with a shopping-bag full of swag, including two shirts, a hat and a large collection of Hawaiian foodstuffs. I expressed some amazement at all the free stuff but the tournament official taking care of me said, a little bittersweetly,”We want our writers to be happy so they’ll come back again next year.”