Maidstone: The Garden of Eden

A few days ago, I played Maidstone, which for decades had been on my “must play before I die” list. The experience was mind-jarringly surreal, kind of like seeing Monet’s Water Lillies or Michaelangelo’s David, and infinitely exceeded all of my expectations.

Maidstone is a 118-year-old club on the east end of Long Island in East Hampton, N.Y. Wedged between the Atlantic Ocean and Gardiner’s Bay, Maidstone is an ultra exclusive oasis of leisure with it’s renowned 18-hole course (84^th on Golf Magazine’s Top 100 courses in the U.S.), a nine-hole executive course, 19-grass tennis courts, a beach club and a gigantic tudor clubhouse perched atop a hill between the main course and the ocean.

I was the guest of Maidstone’s longtime pro, Eden Foster (a Golf Magazine Top 100 Teacher and New Mexico native), and I knew I was in for a good day when Farrell Evans, also a Sports Illustrated golf writer, and I drove into the parking lot and was mesmerized by its stunning views of the Atlantic.

The course is short (6,423 yards from the back tees) but its links-like layout is a stout challenge. Indeed, one of our caddies, Gonzo, said that the two-over 74 shot by my friend, Clarkson Hine, was the lowest round he’d caddied for in three summers of looping at Maidstone. Every shot is a challenge, because there is almost always a good landing area (fairway, green, etc.) or a deadly landing area (thick gorse, ice plant, water, cavernous bunker, etc.)

What makes the course so darn good is its naturalness and fairness, and the ubiquitous, strong and salty ocean wind. Nothing feels or looks contrived, and there are clear sightlines on every shot. The ninth hole, which afficionados often include in their compilations of the greatest holes in the world, is a prime example.

Nine is a 402-yard par four running parallel to the ocean and starting on an elevated tee overlooking the gleaming white sand and sparkling water. You drive down to a sliver of fairway surrounded by two tall and long dunes that are covered with thick vegetation, while the approach is to a very elevated green protected in front by a steep slope and gaping bunker. The par I made, with a ripped drive and flushed seven-iron, was one of the most satisfying of my life.

The elevated 15^th tee, also overlooking the Atlantic, is home to some of the club’s best lore. The tee on thje 493-yard par five aims over a deep, narrow valley to a seemingly tiny sliver of fairway. About 50 yards ahead of the tee and a mere 25 yards to the right of it is a monstrous grey house (one of the multitude of stately mansions around the course) that is well within the firing line of a good slice. (“That’s why they have special windows,” a Maidstone member told us after our round.) Apparently, Seinfeld tried to buy the house some years ago, but his offer, in the neighborhood of $20 million, was rejected.

The same member asked us if we’d seen anybody on the beach. We hadn’t. He chuckled, and then told us the swath of beach behind the 15^th tee is a nude beach that was a hotspot for naked sunbathers all summer during the 1970s. Now, however, he said the nudists tend to visit only in August.

If I’m lucky enough to return to Maidstone, I sure hope it’s in August.